Rob Ramirez, We Are Proud Of You!

Below is the Gritty Spaniard's race report from the Santa Barbara Triathlon. All I know is he is a gamer. Good Job Mr. Ramirez, and I hope Cage hitting you was an accident. ;o)

This was not my first Triathlon. It will most likely be my last. If you have never done one, I recommend you do. They are a lot of fun. In fact, this race report can be a good tool for WHAT NOT TO DO in your triathlon.

My day started with 3 trips to the restroom in the hour before the race. Whew.
I felt really calm before the swim. This is not typical and was troubling for me. I generally have a panic attack on the sand. However, nothing. I started the swim!

I had 2 panic attacks in the water but worked through them after a short stop each time. I had time to talk to one of the life guards on the surf boards while I was out there. He said he was 14. Then I got my groove going until Mike Cage whacked me with his arm as he passed me heading for the final buoy.

I had comical transitions. First, my wetsuit got stuck on my timing chip because I decided to take the wetsuit off in the water. BAD idea. I dragged it out of the water and along the sand up the swim finish shoot until I tripped. Had to sit down in the sand and fight it to get it off my foot. I got a cramp in the process. All the spectators around me were watching me, silent. It was sad…
Could not find my bike in T1 (which was really really sad as there were only a few bikes left in transition anyway as everyone had come and gone). Then came the lame bike split. I guess only riding the TT bike 3 times before an event like this is not the way to train? But I do think I looked really cool in Blingerman’s TT helmet. Not as cool as he looks, but cool enough for me.
Run Transition; Only found my run stuff in T2 because I saw this sorry ass looking pile of sand (which was really my wetsuit) in the middle of the isle.
Started the Run. My race bib flew off on the run when my race belt broke. I finished strong.

I’m sure you now by now, Matt got 2nd. He’s a stud hands down, this was his first triathlon. He was so strong that while we passed each other on the run (he was heading for the finish, I was still heading for the mile 5 turn around), he stopped and turned around and started running with me!. He said he was over this triathlon thing even though it was his first one. He said he was switching to decathlons. I think he has his sports mixed up because I went to one of his training classes and it looks like to me to be more like synchronized swimming than decathlons. See below. Judge for yourself.

Thank you,

Rob Ramirez

Chickens At The Santa Barbara Triathlon!

Most Chickens just enjoy participating, and competing. So quite a few of them decided to do the Santa Barbara Triathlon last weekend. Below is Matt's report. I'm hoping a few others will chime in as these one sided tongue in cheek renditions of the days happenings must be stopped. Pete, did you get some good seats for Celine? ;o) Enjoy the ride!

What a weekend!

I'm pooped. But that was a blast. Why is it that triathlons have more participants than road or mountain bike races? The timing seems like it would be a nightmare, and yet they're extremely well organized and the results are up and accurate within minutes of finishing? I don't know how they do it, but Joe Coito and his crew from the S.B. Triathlon do a phenomenal job. It's a first class event.

We had several Chicken Ranchers taking part in the festivities with some impressive showings. I'll mention some of the highlights but leave it up to the individuals to tell their own stories.

My own race went something like this:

One mile of very poor swimming.
35 miles of pretty good biking.

5 miles of mediocre running followed by 5 more miles of very painful running.

Doesn't that sound like fun? Well, actually it was fun. Challenging but fun. I accomplished my goal of finishing in the top 10 of my age group. It's getting almost comical but I managed to extend my world record string of 2nd place finishes. But one goal I did not accomplish. I bet Arick Fuller and John McFadden (both excellent swimmers) a burrito, that I would be able to catch them by the top of Toro on the bike leg.... I wasn't even close. So while I just missed feeling the thrill of victory. I can fully experience the agony of defeat. Great job guys. I just sent each of you a gift card to Taco Bell for .99 cents. Enjoy your burrito.

The all Chicken Ranch relay team of Ben Edwards, Pete Sproul, and Eric Forte won the relay division handily. The best part is that after his swim Ben ran into the transition area to tag Pete for the bike leg but Pete wasn't there. He had to wait for 2 minutes for Pete to finally show up and ride and they still won! Apparently Pete was late because Celine Dion tickets went on sale at the Arlington and he didn't want to lose his place in line. Craig Blingermans Team finished 2nd but he retains bragging rights by posting the fastest bike leg of the day. I think Blingerman's legs were a little fresher because he's not a Celine Dion fan......he prefers Barbara Streisand.

Gabriel Garcia and Robert Ramirez renewed their rivalry with Gabriel coming out on top once again. As soon as Robert figures out that the doggie paddle is not the most efficient swim stroke they might actually have some close battles. I also saw Fredrick and Mike Cage out there giving it their all. Nice job everyone!

Sundays short course saw some excellent racing action. My 13 year old son Tyler was offered $50 bucks if he could beat Brad Jellison. Unfortunately, Brad had the race of his life and he beat Tyler by 18 seconds. Tyler was bummed about not getting the $50 bucks but he finished 3rd in his age group and got a trophy so he left happy. Brad finished an impressive 7th place in his age group and left with a sore right hamstring. Brad's 17 year old daughter Kelliann also tackled the course on her own finishing 4th in her age group.

They also had a parent/child division on Sunday where parents could compete alongside their kids for moral support. Ben Edwards and his son Sean, Gabe Garcia and his son Dylan, and me and my son Brennan all took part. Ben Edwards is going to be impossible to deal with for a few weeks because not only did he win the relay division, his 11 year old son Sean also won the parent/child division. Sean is a great kid and is a gracious champion with good sportsmanship. But his father is an obnoxious braggart. So if possible, avoid all contact with Ben Edwards for at least 2 weeks until his ego returns to normal size. Gabe's son Dylan is 9 years old and weighs all of about 60lbs but he was out there running 9 minute miles and giving a lot of adults a run for their money. My 12 year old son Brennan finished 4th in the parent/child division. But more importantly, he had the fastest bike split, and as you all know the bike split is the only one that really matters.

All in all it was a great weekend. I can't wait 'till next year. My blisters should be gone by then and Tyler will be one year older and a lot faster. Brad on the other hand should be one year older and a lot slower. So I think next year I'll offer Brad $50 bucks to beat Tyler then I'll use that money to bet Arick and John that I'll catch them by the top of Gobnador and I'll still end up $48 dollars ahead!

Big thanks to all the people who were out there cheering and yelling. That was a big help.

See ya out there,

Matt

Can You Name This Dynamic Duo?

I think FRS is kicking off a new marketing campaign and brought back the infamous Bartles & Jaymes. I could be wrong, so please chime in with your guess as to who this dyamic duo is! Happy Memorial Day!

Robert Ramirez Gives Us His Perspective Of Sea Otter

Note From The Editor; This is not your standard G rated race report, so read at your own risk!

Cat 5 35+ Road Race: This race is really fun. There were like 40 guys all like me racing it. Brett Harrison was there to, we made quite the pair. We all had to wait 2 hours to start however, so I was able to go to the bathroom a couple more times, what a relief. My goal was to not get dropped.

On the first hill, I got dropped. Then on the 2nd hill (there are 2 hills in the race) I got dropped again. But then I was able to stick with the group for 2 straight laps and was feeling good, until my chain popped off at the bottom of the hill. I said my final good by’s to the group and rode 2 laps solo. Gabe and Mitch were passing out water bottles, but messed it up and gave my bottle of EPO to someone else and I had to drink water. On the final long climb home, as I was passing the spot where Matt Benko was rescued last year, and out of sympathy I think, I cramped. I got back to the trailer at about 8 PM and ate pasta. I had a beer (actually 2) and put on the streatchy pants.

Sport MTB Race: At 6 AM the next morning, I got up to get ready for the MTB race. It was cold. I made Kim coffee. The Race was more fun than the road race. There were about 100 guys just like me, except about 55 were faster than me. I started strong, ripping it up! I then cramped. Then I crashed. After a few minutes, I cramped again! I rode home happy but blowing sand out of my nose for quite some time. When I got back to the trailer, I ate pasta again, had a few more beers and hung out with the kids. It was way fun with all the families there and the 17 kids who were camping with us. I was able to sneak down to the podium and take a picture of Matt’s podium where he got 2nd in the circuit race, see below.



Way to Go Matt!