The Secret Is French Roast!

Truth really is stranger than fiction.

My first California Road Race did not turn out like I had planned at all. I signed up for the Cat. 3s to race with Blinger and Gabe. The morning started innocently enough, except that I ran out of French Roast coffee beans and was forced to use some Italian Roast coffee beans that I don't really like. Carson Blume had graciously offered me a ride to the race and we enjoyed good conversation the entire way. Life was good, except for coffee bean situation.

My race was scheduled to start at 10:35a.m. At 10:30 a.m., they called the group up the line. I was number 264 and I looked around and saw numbers 232, 240, 248....."OK".

The official was quick and mentioned the yellow line rule and that we were racing 7 laps. "No we aren't" I said to myself. "The flier said 6 laps." Oh well, I'm sure he just got it wrong. "Hmmm.....Blinger and Gabe better hurry up, we're about to start." A few moments later, we started and a few moments after that, the attacks started.

It was fast. Very, very fast. The attacks didn't stop either. I was in the mix and actually made it into a break and we were riding away from the group - until a couple of guys intentionally sat up, causing a split in the break. I didn't have the gas to bridge the gap, so I went back to the group. There were a dozen or so more attacks made by guys who wanted to be in the break but by then, I was in the red and I could not respond. Then we hit the climb. I'm sitting about 6th wheel at the base and "BAM!" - guys are flying around me. I'm clawing, scratching, and doing everything I can to stay with the group. "Man, this is the fastest Cat. 3 race I have ever seen" I said to myself. Suddenly, I am now at the back, or what was left of it. 15 or 20 guys were dropped on the climb. Not pretty. "Where is Blinger and Gabe?" I thought to myself. I asked the guy next to me if there had been a crash on the first lap and he said: "No."

The next lap was more of the same: fast, fast, and more fast. At this point, I realize that I don't have the legs. These guys are really strong and I am in trouble. I cannot believe how much faster the Cat. 3s are here in California! A lap or so more (I can't remember, my brain was oxygen deprived and was not fully functional), I look over at the guy on my right and he has tatoos all over his face and I remembered thinking "that was weird". Then it hit me! "Oh hell, I've seen that guy in VeloNews!" Uh oh! A couple of seconds later as if on cue, Ben (Platinum rider, we talked before the race) drifted back, looked at me and said: "I thought you were racing the Cat. 3s." I responded: "Yeah, I thought I was racing the Cat. 3s too!"

Well now, it was obvious at this point, even to me, that this was indeed NOT the Cat. 3s. "What to do, what to do?????". "Well, I'm here, I might as well hang on as long as I can." Sometime later (I truly have no idea...) we catch the Cat 4s. It was ugly. Our lead car took us around the Cat. 4s - IN THE FEED ZONE!!!!!!!!! The Feed Zone is the most dangerous place on Earth on a normal day, but this was insane. About that time, a white pickup truck (why is it always a pickup truck?) was coming the other direction, horn blazing, and he wasn't slowing down. I truly thought I was going to die. It was pure chaos. We were able to merge into the Cat. 4 group, but then we had to extract ourselves and by then, the guys in the front punched it up and over the climb. I chased, and chased, and chased. and chased some more. People were everywhere. It was pure carnage. When I started getting very dizzy and my field of vision was narrowing, I figured that it was time to admit defeat. I hate getting dropped, I really do.

Four or five of us re-grouped and chased like mad men. The gap was coming down (wishful thinking probably) but when we hit the short steep hill between turns 1 and 2, it was clear that even if we caught them, it would be at the base of the climb and we would be so blown that it wouldn't have mattered......So, that was that. Shortly thereafter, the Cat. 4s caught us, we sat on the back with a big 30-50' cushion, and rode in. The funny thing is that the Cat. 4s were unknowingly "running sweep" for the Pro/1/2 race. Half a lap later, one of the guys that was chasing with me says: "I see a bunch more our our peeps....." I look up and indeed there was. By the climb, there was probably 20 Pro/1/2s in the Cat. 4 bunch. Too funny.

After it was all over, I was asked: "Are you going to race in SLO tomorrow?" To which I responded: "Not in the Pro/1/2s I'm not!"

Moral to the story No. 1: As my father used to say over and over and over: "Preparation is 9/10ths of the Conquest." So boys and girls, make sure you have the proper coffee beans for your espresso machine on race day! It can make a world of difference! :-)

Moral to the story No. 2: Apparently they will let just about anybody race with the Pro/1/2s! heck, I don't even thing registering is required!

I love a good story, even if it is "on me." I'm still shaking my head over the comedy of events today. Oh yes, a truth really is stranger than fiction!

Randy Tinney

P.S. - I like to think that I am at least of average intelligence. But then again, only two weeks ago did I figure out that the Chicken Ranchers are a bona fide, U.S.A. Cycling-sanctioned club!

Sea To Summit

While there were thin wheelin' Chickens riding in Bakersfield & Modesto and fat-wheelin' Chickens riding in the Santa Ynez Valley, there were a few "Not-so-smart Chickens" sweatin' at the Sea to Summit event in Ventura & Kern Counties. For those of you who don't know, Sea-to Summit is an annual cycling event that starts close to sea level in Ventura and finishes 87 miles later atop the 8, 327' summit cul-de-sac of Mt. Pinos for a total elevation gain of 12,000'. Our very own Testrider, Ben Edwards talked me into participating in this year's Sea-to-Summit and I felt the neighborly thing to do was to extend the same invitation to our newest Santa Barbara resident, Randy Tinney.

The day started on a good note in that it was actually cool at roll-out. The question bouncing around the big group of riders on the way to Ojai was "how long would it stay cool?" And, "do you think we'll make it over Big Pine Summit before the heat kicks in?" These questions were answered with great clarity less than hour in and by the time we reached the tunnels on Hwy. 33. It was officially "HOT" and "No", we wouldn't reach Big Pine Summit, Rose Valley or even the Ranger Station before it turned hot! As the climb to Rose Valley always does, it broke the big front group of riders up into many smaller groups including a lead break of five. By the time we reached the Rose Valley turn-off I realized that the theme of the day was not so much about who would finish first, but one of survival. Who was going to hydrate right and survive the heat, elevation gain and altitude? After grabbing some fresh beverages at Rose Valley, we reconnected with the second pack where we settled into a nice tempo in a safe position off the front while dropping a few off the back. Our support crew extraordinaire of one, Elda, exchanged our bottles at Big Pine Summit before Randy and I rolled over into the highlight of the day - the big descent to Lockwood Valley! The view was epic (see photo), as was the descent. Randy put his 53:11 into to gear and was hooting & hollerin' while he sling-shot us down the 12 mile slope. We passed the group that left the summit before us like they were standing still. That would be the last we would see of them on this day. Unfortunately, the turn onto Lockwood Valley Road would be the end of the good times. All I had heard about this course was in relation to the the two big climbs of Big Pine and Mt. Pinos. No one ever mentioned anything about Lockwood Valley which shouldn't be called a valley at all because the steepest climbs of the day hit us in the face in this so-called "valley". As did the hottest part of the day and the stiffest winds. Randy pointed out on several occasions that "this isn't very fun" and that "I was a very bad person for getting him involved in this thing". The relentless combination of heat & elevation gain was showing its' toll by the ever-thinning group of riders and a leg cramp that made Ben scream like a school girl at American Idol. Luckily for Ben, "Elda-matic" was stationed a 100 yards uphill with the requisite fluids, electrolytes and food in hand. Ben shook off the cramp and cranked out the rest of the ride. The ride concluded with the 14 miles ascent of Mt. Pinos. While the climb isn't too steep, it is relentless in that it never gives you a break. After a watermelon slice hand-off and a cold water dousing I got into a nice groove and caught the guy in front me only to have to stop and massage out a case of "hot foot" that hurt so bad that I thought my feet were going to explode. A minute later I was back on the bike and pedaling strong for what I was told was the last 2 miles, but turned out to be 3.5. As I came around the final turn the guy in front came into sight and I instinctively jumped on the pedals Although I didn't have near enough runway to catch the guy, I was happy I had the legs to finish with a strong uphill sprint and to hear I was the 4th to finish. Since the theme of the day had been "heat", you can imagine my surprise to find the summit parking lot flanked with packs of snow.

I can tell you that the Sea-to-Summit course is beautiful, but in the heat it is the toughest 87 miles I've ever ridden on the road. Despite the challenge, I have a feeling I'll be out there again next year if it doesn't overlap with a race that actually counts. Randy, are you in???

Good Times. Thanks Ben - I think...

PHOTOS (Click on photo bottom for description): http://www.flickr.com/photos/26685879@N05/sets/72157605133874225/show/
Dan Rudd


Ben added his .02

Great report Dan... and spot on, except you left out one part. As I started fading after mile 50 and a hill named "Heartbreak" that happened to be in the "Valley" Dan reeled me in. We traded pulls through the rest of the valley, but as we hit the slopes of Mt. Pinos Dan's tempo was too much for me and he sailed away to his fourth place. I was barely moving at this point and past by a few guys that may or may not have been on recumbents. I ended up 8th, thanks mainly to Elda's impromptu support of a Chicken in distress. Watermelon is without a doubt the greatest on bike food and may soon be a banned substance.


With all that said I will definitely be riding Sea to Summit next year... I hope Dan, Randy, and I have some more Chickens to share the pulls in Lockwood "Valley"!


Ben