Roast Week On The Blog Continues..........

So you thought roasting Matt couldn't get any funnier, well think again. Joe Howell has jumped in with some observations I'm sure will amuse everyone, except maybe Matt. ;o) Joe thanks for cleaning up the language for our sensitive readers. Congratulations Tyler!

Teammates- great reports on the Tri, with the Gritty Spaniard's report ranking as #1 on the humor scale for me. As a long time triathlete but CR newbie member and infrequent bike racer, I of course have a different perspective on triathlons in general. My bike crash in April (don't worry, was wearing an Echelon kit) meant that I had to break my long string of consecutive SB long course triathlons; actually, I was delighted to be able to complete and race, sort of, the sprint on Sunday. My report is NOT about my race; it is about what I witnessed in the transition area Sunday, pre-race.....(maybe that time period should be called "T-zerp" ,as opposed to T-1, after the swim, T-2, after the bike.....)

OK, so it is 6:00 am on Sunday. Matt is with his son Tyler and they have Tyler already set up at what is arguably the best single spot in the entire transition area, as Tyler is in the first wave. His bike and gear are on the corner, nearest the in/out spot, and the kid is ready to race. I set up my stuff on the next rack over, say hello to Matt, he introduces me to Tyler, and I try to give Tyler a little encouragement by writing his name in chalk on the pavement by his gear.

All is well until about 6:30 am. A harried Marv Bauer comes in, looking for a spot for his bike/gear and there is not one anywhere in sight. Marv is mid- 60s, recently retired trial lawyer, nice guy and about 6'5". Big guy, reasonably fit. He does the sprint every year. No wetsuit ever and essentially he does no training. (He said to me "sure glad my bike was where I left it last year after the race....and he was serious.). He is hassled, can find no spot and then decides to set up on the same rack, across from Tyler, and starts moving Tyler's bike. Matt intercedes......duh. Matt suggests, perhaps a little more directly than I am stating it now, that one arriving at 6:30 for a 7 am race perhaps should NOT move the gear of others who arrived at 5:30 and have a primo spot. Marv offers that he could care less where his bike is, he just wants an f___ing spot......."you see another spot for me? great, you find it and I'll go there."

I know both guys and decide maybe I will NOT intervene but will let it play out. I am then talking to my pals in my area, and realize their voices are louder....yep, WAY louder. I am 5 or so feet away, standing behind Marv, and I can see only his back and only part of Matt, who then says in a voice heard by at least half the transition area "do NOT put your hands on me; get your hands OFF of me!" I am thinking wow, this is not a good thing. Then.........

OK, then I am distracted, and when I look over, only Matt is there and NO, Marv is NOT on the ground- he was getting body marked. I walked over to Matt and explained Marv was a good guy and Matt assured me that they "worked it out". We discuss protecting ones kids, etc; I think things are cool, but are they??

After the race, Tyler and Matt were in the front of the crowd at the award ceremony, waiting for Tyler's well deserved hardware (actually they have "tileware" at this race, very cool), and I was standing next to Marv (as they even have tiles for top finishes for old guys). I got Marv in a headlock (with his permission), yelled at Matt and indicated that I could easily finish Marv off for him. Matt laughed, Marv laughed and fortunately, that was the uneventful conclusion of what looked like, for 30 seconds, a very exciting start to the 2008 Sprint Triathlon.

Ride safe.